T

Her husband was fucking H, an ex lover turned half friend who was for this scenario supposed to be my girlfriend. I was fucking her, a Latina woman named T. This was in their basement on a sheet she had laid out on the floor. This was all the result of a curiosity about a phone personals swinger site. After a few calls, we’d met in a bar, H and me and the husband and T. I think H thought she was going to get to fuck the girl, which is something she always enjoyed, but it wasn’t about that for me. To work, this had to be a straight across swap—I had long since finished with H sexually.

T had a beautiful body, all pliable muscle, one of those asses, two of those breasts. Her husband and H were panting away in the dark but it didn’t matter to me. I’d lifted T’s dress off over her head. I’d touched her belly. She’d unzipped my pants and appraised and touched my x.

Now I was inside of her and I realized that as much as anything, people do what this couple was doing because they want to connect with other people. She was beneath me and we were fucking but it was more than that.

Perhaps it was half an hour, forty five minutes. Sometimes, almost no matter what, when you are with a girl, you feel like you love her; you are fucking her and looking into her eyes and you think, I love you, and you might even accidentally say it. It was as an especially strong urge with her and I wanted her to have it with me. We begin whispering things, about each other’s bodies, about beauty, about the quality of the sex. I asked her her middle name and she told me it and I told her mine.

Something had gone wrong between H and the husband. She wasn’t attracted. She was jealous on my behalf. She was just going through the motions. He had come and wanted to start again and she said they ought not. He called his wife away, whispering her name sharply in the dark. We were lost in each other. It took us a minute to un-intertwine.

The parting was soon after and awkward. In the mirror at home I found her blue eye-liner had stained my cheek and I knew I’d never see her again or have her completely and what I felt was hungry and sad.